I took these pictures today, it's cloudy so the tones of them look cold compared with the real ones.

The first two are the second and third base of mudra series, I used the leftover color to make them.

The third picture is of how the silver foil changs color at deferent temperatures, from (1)to (4) as effected by more heated sulfur.

The fourth picture is the new layer of the painting based on rocks and sand, and the following pictures is three details I wanna talk about: (1) I put the comb in my back pocket yesterday and broke it as I sat down, so the comb became the new member of my work team; (2) aluminium foil which I robbed from snowball's cigarette box last year, it was green, snowball said she would buy a new box of cigarette with pink foil, I forgot to ask her if she did that already; (3) the sulphurized foil didn'y look as beautiful as you saw yesterday, I have brushed the gelatin alum water three times but still couldn't stop it oxidizing.

The last two pictures are about my secret messy desk and making colors (put gelatin first and then water, troublesome, because you have to be sure that every rock is surround by gelatin, I like to ask friends to do that when they visit me, they are more careful than a painter, and they think they are having fun. Look the last picture, I know my fingers are fat but still don't like to work out).

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The first one is just a base, it might be a start of the mudra series. The second one is the sulfurised silver foil, the strong smell of sulfur made me wanna vomit and today I got throat-sore for that.

By the way, I got a new toy to bite friends, it's a original toy...

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My friends and I are stupid at bargaining with the shopkeepers. We only use the following tricks...

--Hey, my friend looks smart but actually she is not. Once she likes you then your shop will be her first even the only choice, make her like you! so don't you think this sweater should be cheaper?!

Or…

We--I buy your stuff, you should buy me ice cream in return! Drop the price!

They—I want to have ice cream too.

We—Do you think it feels great to have ice cream in such a cold day?!

...

See, what we can get is ice cream only, our business brain freeze by eating too many ice creams.

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I will continue a few works I didn’t finish before. Actually what the picture shows is overlapping layers instead of steps what just looks like. I’ve been trying to find something to replace天然石色（natural rocky color? no idea how to call them, 石�is azurite blue, 石绿is malachite green） it’s very beautiful and has natural harmonies with different colors, but it’s very expensive (especially which made in Japan, but I have to admit that Japanese color is better than Chinese color), sometimes one stroke of the brush can cost you 50Y，I’m not one of those people to starve for the art，so my works have to become mixed media.

What you can see now is the base color of the work, and the final result could be anything because at the moment I’m just looking for ‘possibles’ in ‘accidentals’. Sometimes painting is like chess, you always face the results of what you’ve just done. There are no ‘questions’, just ‘solutions’

I really don’t know how it’ll turn out, but the base is actually very good (technically, at least). My former tutor said it was the evenest she’d seen (made by sands and bricks, I don’t like a thick base, partly because of taste, and partly because of money – I don’t like to invest too much in my work). Her praise drew me back though, because I realized I didn’t want to waste that base—maybe this is as Chinese idiom said “give up eating for fear of choking�因噎废食. Base color can not be the real work, so I have to go on even if it'll all go to waste, now I have no idea of how it will go though. This kind of unknowing is interesting in itself, and I believe the canvas will tell me, eventually.

I'm ready for the set-backs of the process, that's very normal.

So what do you think will become of this unfinished work? Welcome your comments with your imagination or guess.

Size 50*60cm (maybe,I forgot already and ruler escaped away as soon as he knew he would work)

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As usual, I lay in bed to watch dvd and read books then wait for sleep coming. On the contrary, what I got is to feel more awake.

Like the young brother in the Peacock, these days I seemed to spend my retired life in advance. Unluckily I didn't enjoy it much in particular today, the only reason I can figure out is I'm not wise and even stupider than ten years ago. The education I gave myself (mainly about how to accept and enjoy my own life), including the books I ever read, the experiences I encountered and some lessons I drew, vanished as time went by, as I’m getting older and older… How can I fall asleep when I think of that?!

Another thing made me feel bad is from the characters in Peacock. As its screenwriter said (I guess he’s right), sister, elder brother, and younger brother respectively imply idealism, reality and pessimism. I found myself from sister and younger brother (unfortunately, I laughed at the elder brother a lot), especially I found the younger brother said the same thing as I used to say (it seldom happened): Mom and dad always say the life is too short, but I wish I would be 60 already when I wake up from a sleep.

So that means I am between idealism and pessimism, maybe…. Then I have to be more awkward and painful! Because I can’t cut myself to ask for love as sister did, nor can I spend such a “degenerate� life like younger brother, although I understand them and if they were my friends, I would not despise them.

So? So far what in my mind is to go on being myself (in fact, I enjoy myself), searching something I can’t express now and driving away inertia constantly (that doesn’t mean I would like to be a ploughing cow)

As for today, I think I will find out all my wandering books and diaries which I put them everywhere. At least, the first step is to get something back.

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I remember clearly I was very depressed on Feb 22 (Michael Chang's birthday also), as Lee Eun Joo hung herself same day. People didn't sense how different she was until her death. Nothing would be changed for it. Still, kind people shed their tears and kept asking why such a promising actress committed suicide till the memories fade and jerks looked it as coward behavior.

Abnormal death is always connected with coincidence. Her last song was Only When I Sleep (right click and save as)in her last film Scarlet Letter.

You're only just a dreamboat Sailing in my head You swim my secret oceans Of coral blue and red Your smell is incense burning Your touch is silken yet It reaches through my skin And moving from within It clutches at my breast

But it's only when I sleep See you in my dreams You got me spinning round and round Turning upside-down But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep Got me spinning round and round Turning upside-down But its only when I sleep

And when I wake from slumber Your shadow's disappear Your breath is just a sea mist Surrounding my body I'm workin' through the daytime But when it's time to rest I'm lying in my bed Listening to my breath Falling from the edge

But it's only when I sleep See you in my dreams, (dreams) You got me spinning round and round Turning upside-down But I only hear you breathe Somewhere in my sleep, (in my sleep) Got me spinning round and round Turning upside-down But its only when I sleep It's only when I sleep

[Sharon & Andrea solo]

Up to the sky Where angels fly I'll never die Hawaiian High In bed I lie No need to cry My sleeping cry Hawaiian High

It's reaching through my skin Movin' from within And clutches at my breasts...

But it's only when I sleep... See you in my dreams, (dreams) You got me spinning round and round Turning upside-down But I only hear you breathe

In bed I lie No need to cry My sleeping cry Hawaiian High

But it's only when I sleep... aaaaaaa.... Got me spinning round and round (Turning upside-down)

Up to the sky Where angels fly I'll never die Hawaiian High But it's only when I sleep...

[Fade out]

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Finally, I watched Peacock.

I'm trying not to talk much about this film, because most people might have not seen it so I don't want to ruin their appetite.

I believe many watchers, like me, left tears and laughter in the cinema, and kept the terrific applause in their hearts, for this film and themselves (not including some morally degenerated people who even didn't set their cellphone on mute).

I was searching for the interview of Gu Changwei just now, but he was as low profile as ever(he thought he was "high-profile" already). He said he shot it for most Chinese (yes, very Chinese, not only for waking up our many memories...), if Zhang Yimou said so, I would turn around immediately.

Gu Changwei is really really…I don't know how to put my feeling into my poor English. I will rewatch this film and look forward to his next film Sequel.

Leave your comments if you want to discuss or just praise it, actually, I really wanna share this marvelous artwork with more people. If 2046 or House of Flying Daggers could get a large audience than this one, sorry for your loss ( am I rude? Then you can tell I really love this movie.)

P.S. Discuss here meantime

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