— Chinese animation looks terrible!

— Does it? Well, it might be a good excuse to me for not liking animation films.

To be fair, there were some good Chinese animations produced years ago, such as Uproar in Heaven, Nezha Conquers the Dragon King, Three Monks, etc. But still, I don’t like animation film and cartoon. When I was a kid, one of the most annoying things was to watch an animation on June 1 each year, meanwhile I was keen it would come to an end sooner as I was to ring for class-over; I couldn’t figure out how good was Spirited Away or how touching was Grave of the Fireflies which was popular in China, as well as the only thing impressed me in Ghibli Museum was the hotdog tasted not bad; If people highly recommended some cartoons to me, usually my unspoken words would be “pay me, I might watch it.�

I was thinking over if I lost child’s heart since I had memory. I don’t remember I had a big pretty doll to hold or ever asked for it. I do remember how much I hated Princess Snow White, who was much less beautiful than Odile in Swan Lake. While I was skipping over a chain of rubber bands between two trees, watching the Sunday’s sunset, imagining I was that model in Toshiba commercials, cursing school day’s coming, alone, my friends were watching stupid Mickey & Donald which was regularly shown on weekend, laughing… I guess most people enjoy cartoons, or at least in some certain period, but definitely not me. The thing is I never mean to be a different person; on the contrary, I was ashamed to say stuff like “I don’t enjoy cartoon� directly, which took those cartoon-lovers off guard. Instead of that, I extremely convince them how much I love “Lion King� that made me cry from start to the end, and how cute is Chibi Maruko who reminds me of long time ago I used to be that cute—That’s true, also, that’s all.

I blame myself more than once for losing innocence in such a young age, until someday I found the judgment for myself didn’t make any sense. Why do I have to like cartoon, which is something totally isolate to me, my system doesn’t have that function to be close to it, isn’t that allowed? Afterwards, I drew a new conclusion—I just can’t accept cartoon as an art form, it looks fake to me. Since then, easily I stay away from all the cartoon or animation films, with that short answer, without anyone’s surprising look.

So…for the reason above sounds like strong, I didn’t notice that little girl’s existence at all in the first place. One day when I realized she lingered over my mind somehow, she’s already gone from my sight.

(to be continued...)

Filed under: Sense of Seeing
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